Sunday, October 28, 2012

Ranting...(skip if you don't want to feel depressed)

These past couple weeks have been hard on me. It's the last time my husband will be out of town, so the anticipation of having him home longer than a week is killing me! Not only did we buy my dream car, but he took it out of town with him, so that's been a little hard knowing I finally got a chance to turn a dream into reality and then it was gone in a split second, along with my husband. Sad. In the meantime, I've been taking care of 2 rambunctious annoying little boys all by myself with only a small portion of time to be creative. On top of that, my hard drive crapped out on me, taking me several precious hours to transfer all my family photos, files, etc. onto another one. Not too long after, my computer decided it wouldn't ever turn on again. And over the course of the past 6+ months my sewing machine has been giving me trouble as well. I finally took it in last week to be serviced and it came home giving me the same trouble. Unfortunately, I don't have a sewing machine repair place near me. The closest place is 30 minutes away, and I maybe go that distance once every month and a half, or so, and only when my husband is home. Every Saturday there's a guy that comes up to my local quilt shop and spends from 10-2 repairing/servicing machines. Since I'm alone, once I put my little one down for a nap I can't go anywhere. So I waited another week to take it in again yesterday. He fixed it again. I brought it home and during nap time, I set it up and was soooo excited to turn in on and start sewing, but it still wasn't working. The funny part, is it WAS working at the shop, because he showed me the fabric he had run through to test it out. So I plugged in the machine I had borrowed and it had been working before I plugged mine it, but all of a sudden, it too wasn't working. I'M CURSED! So I spent the rest of the day in tears. Just bawling, not knowing where to go from here. We spent all our savings to get a car, I had to purchase a new hard drive to back up all my files on, I'm going to have to purchase a new computer here in the next month or so, and I spent money to have my machine serviced, something I had put off for months because I didn't have the money to service it 6 months ago when I started having the issues. Needless to say, I've come to realize my dependency on technology. It's not good. That's all in the past few weeks, not including the replaced dslr from a few months ago, the broken windows from my 6 year old, and we still haven't paid the large amount of tax we owe on the car. As I was crying to Brandy on the phone, I told her I was just waiting for my car to break down on my way home from the grocery store, or to drop my phone in a puddle of ice water (it's been snowing here). Like she said, "When it rains, it pours." Isn't that the truth?! I'm sure the snow hasn't help this little spat of emotions and depression, but something that always makes me feel better, is going through flickr favorites and looking at all the colorful creations, but then I get mad that everyone else is effortlessly sewing away while I'm sitting here yelling at my kids for arguing and whining. Yeah, I feel so much better (insert sarcasm here). So here's a little color in the form of old school entertainment. Enjoy, and I'm going to go send my 6 year old his room for hitting his baby brother. Oh, and did I mention today is my birthday? mmhmm, yup, what a great birthday (even more sarcasm here).


  1. Oh dear you poor girl,hope all things are sorted out fast,what a way to spend your birthday.Put the children to bed early ,and have a SMALL glass of something,you deserve it.xx

  2. This too hall pass, altho it never feels like it when you're deep 'IN' it, does it? I would give anything at my age to go back & just spend as much time as I possibly could loving you when you guys were little, b/c you all grew up so fast! When did that happen anyway & where was I???
    If I was there, (or you were here), I'd fix you a nice dinner, give you my sewing machine, say go sew to your heart's delight & I'd take those babies & love, love love them to pieces!! That's what this MeeMa does!
    Love you.
    Make popcorn & something else not too messy, Get those two adorable boys, & have a camp-out in your room on your bed, or on the floor & read to them those cute old vintage books you took a picture of. Make a tent with an old sheet & some rope. Giggle, laugh, make alot of noise & enjoy your B-day!! LET THE RUMPUS BEGIN!!!
    There will come a day when they will not be there with you to celebrate, and you may feel very alone...& lonely.. :)

  3. Boy do I remember those days. All you can do is take a deep breath, take them out for a walk to run it off, and try not to sweat the small stuff. I never had a computer when my kids were little. I knit. That was my only outlet. I knit lots ; )
    Enjoy your little ones. They are important. Your hubby will be home soon to spell you off so you can have mommy time.
    Blessings on you .

  4. Oh mama, I have been here too. Here's what I keep telling myself......"if what does not kill us makes us stronger, then at this point IM F**KIN INVINCIBLE!!" I know this is way after the fact but I just wanted say I feel your pain and wish I could help ;)